Friday, November 23, 2012


Nothing equates to the pain of wanting to be elsewhere. This futile yet fundamental human endeavor devours us on a daily basis only to be usurped on the odd occasion by shopping and mowing the lawn. Like shopping and lawn mowing transportation by thought processes should be avoided at all times. We have seen the result of such endeavors in various fictional works such as Star Trek and Dr Who and we both know how that turned out. My suggestion is to choose more conventional means; even an aircraft if you keep your fingers crossed during the flight. Although many experiments have been carried out in the hope that one day we will be able to move across large expanses of water just at the mere thought of it, I suggest you try a boat otherwise the result of all that heavy brain work will simply result in sitting on a cold concrete wall for a very long time.

Feeling secure

I sleep easy these days knowing I am being watched. By whom I am unsure but it is nonetheless reassuring to know that when I visit the Waterfront Precinct to enjoy yet another sunset, I will do this unconcerned about the marauding thieves and vagrants that hide in the shadows. Why, it was only yesterday a small, but ugly, child swooped past me as if running from the law, and carrying a choc chip, double vanilla ice cream cone he had most likely stole from a little old lady after battering her with his state board.
I do feel protected by the very presence of these security cameras, but I do wonder if there is someone out there checking the monitor for trouble or the taski hasn't been outsourced to a university student somewhere in Mumbai.


Lumps of metal filled with fat bums and bad food are not meant to fly. Gravity was invented to prevent this sort of thing from happening. I know if they keep moving forward the Laws of Physics will keep them up there but what if we got something wrong? Just what if Bernoulli was a bit off with his calculations? What if the engineer misread his slide rule? What if carbon fibre decided it just wanted to behave like the plastic handle on my spatula and break off unexpectedly?
I try not to think about these things too much, especially when I am one of the fat bums eating the abominable food served by smiling stewards, all with their fingers crossed behind their back as if they know something I don't.
Nevertheless, I am thankful they do fly if only to stand with my feet firmly planted on the ground and observe such a beautiful sight.

How sure are you?

How sure are you? Step in front of a fast moving train and there’s a more than fair chance you’ll not survive to tell the story o...