Saturday, June 2, 2012

Do dogs have a god?

Just us, I guess. Praise the hand that feeds me. Glory to those who provide me with shelter. Blessed are the blind for they find virtue in me. Give thanks to the kid who pats me as they pass. May I live without biting too many people or pissing on the wrong grass. Keep my breath at bay from those I might offend. I shall remain chaste and faithful until the end as long as my testicles remain intact. I will spread the barking among the rich and the poor alike. There is only one god, His name is Fred. He will carry me to my grave among the other pets in the back yard; the parrot, the rabbit, the cat, one by one.
He beckons me to come and I obey. He releases me into the park to run wild. He watches over me with a small spade and a plastic bag least he is summoned by the council to pay dues. All this is true as my god is my witness.
I just don't understand one thing. Why does he leave me out here when he goes to his god?


  1. Didn't you read the sign.. 'no testicles allowed'. Fred's god promotes neutering.

  2. Yes. Clearly, this is not a catholic dog!!


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